I watched a really depressing show on Netflix this week called Seven Seconds. The last few episodes got me thinking about perception, both as we see ourselves and how we want others to see us. I’ve had some interesting conversations in my time, but some of the one’s that really stick with me are the ones where someone reveals vulnerability around how they are or will be perceived if they support their neighbors, co-workers, fellow pew dwellers, children or other family members whose sexual orientation or gender identity is different from their own. I’ve heard things like “they will think I’m gay too” more often than I can count in reference to why someone can’t be public about their support for their LGBTQ friends, family and neighbors.
I’m going to bet that most of us do it to some extent. We think we know what others will think. We make up whole stories based out of fear. We get ourselves all work up over a made up threat. When really, we don’t actually know what people will think and it doesn’t really matter what they think. We have unfounded fears about losing something - clients, customers, family, friends, etc. based on our made up story about how another person will react. This isn’t fair to them or ourselves.
Imagine for a moment that there was no fear. You could be yourself without making up imagined things others will think. Give yourself and your friends a break! Lay down your fear, be true to yourself and let others do the same.
Need a little help along the way? I’m here to help. Contact me at kim@klwconsultllc.com.
