My blogs recently seem to stem from training interactions. I had another this week, that sent me back into thinking about binaries. Particularly male and female. First, let’s look at words, which are human constructs designed to help us communicate sometimes difficult concepts. There is nothing about words that is unchangeable. I read recently that binaries are helpful in decision making - “quick, choose one!” - particularly under stress. We know, however, that there are no real binaries (I’ll give you computer language), for example “hot” and “cold” . . . there is a whole spectrum of temperatures that we might call “warm”.
So, I was thinking about the comfort or safety that is provided by strict adherence to the concept of “male” and “female” as binaries with no equivalent of “warm”. Logic says it might be in decision making particularly under stress.
The gentleman I was talking to this past week was asking what about “sex” is unchangeable. If we agree that sex is made up of a combination of genitalia, reproductive organs and chromosomes, then it is chromosomes that are unchangeable. I think a fourth element is the brain - we’ll come back to the brain in a moment. This gentleman quickly grabbed onto chromosomes as unchangeable as the definitive decision between male and female. Generally, our sex assigned at birth is decided by a doctor who glances at our external genitalia and pronounces us male or female - quick binary decision. Without reason, the doctor doesn’t run a chromosomal test to confirm. We also know that not all genitalia looks the same - there is diversity. Not all reproductive organs look the same - there is diversity. Not all chromosomes look the same either - there is diversity. So why the fixation on a binary and permanence of male or female? Is there that much stress around the decision of “male” or “female” that forces us to insist on a binary answer?
What if there is a 4th part of us, the brain, that either agrees with the doctor or doesn’t? If your genitalia and reproductive organs met an unfortunate demise, would you suddenly not be male or female? I’ve asked people this before and been told “yes, I would no longer by male(female)”. What would that person be then? Does the brain’s perception of self as male or female or varying degree of one or both change based on external genitalia and internal reproductive organs? Could the brain’s perception of self actually be independent of genitalia, internal reproductive organs and chromosomes?
If so, those of us who are cis-gender may never be aware that this is true. Our trans siblings might understand, however.
I suggest that this is the case - the brain’s perception of self in regards to the human words known as “male” and “female” is separate from genitalia, internal reproductive organs and chromosomes.
But now I’ve complicated things.
